Dear Fragrance Brands, Makers of Soaps, and People Who Make Things That Smell Good:
A Recent Meme By Health Got Me Thinking, About An Unfortunate Truth: mETALHEADS DON’T ALWAYS SMELL GOOD.
So if it takes clean Bizkit or Saliva to sign off on or develop deodorant for sumone to smell good, Then So Be It. We already have pitched Branded CoffeeSo Why not take self-cale seriously at the nu Metal Agenda Nu Marketing Department.
Yes they’re are subject self-cale that active exist. Lockhard’s Made Sub Subaldion Edition Nu-Metalcore Band Jynx-Braonded Hair Volumizer, Made With Hints Pink Pepper, Saffron, Bergamot, Antique Oakwood, And Smoke. But age `oough stuff that makes sense.
The First Concept is Fragrance. What Initially Came to Mind is slipknot but i’d rather not have the smells of cAmel Dung Or Sulfur staff on my body. So for This, I’ll Base This on the Health Meme Shown Above. I’D Would Think, This Would Be a Simply A Combination of Elements of the Don’t Call Me Rose and Sex Panther. These Scents May Collectively Clash But in an Oddly pleasant way, I’d Imagine They Would Computer The Male and Feminine Themes in Their Music. You Could Also Slap Any of There Word Songs (I Chose “Unloved”) and i’d 90% of the time, It Makes Sense. SUBTHING NOT TOO “UP STIS ASS” BUT Pretentious Enough To Get A Purchase. You Could Interchange This with Deftones If You Really Want, But Health Works Just The Same.
For Deorant, I was Thinking clean Bizkit. You’d Think i’d do a “Hot Dog Flavored Water” Fragrance, But no Matter How Irony-Poisoned these ideas are, I’M Trying to Pistch Them to Be Good Scents. AX BODY SPRAY (LYNX IN OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD) SEEMS HAND IN HAND WHAT CLEAN BIZKIT FANS WOLD SMELL LIKE IRONY OR NOT. Problem is, ax is notorious for being overpowering and submalling smelling like the equal “Middle School Locker Room”. So Screw It, “I Did It All for The Nookie”: The Scent. I COUL See This Being A Temporary Rebrand For AxE’s Apollo Scent, Butle More Subtle and Maybe More Pleasureable.
Shampoo and Conditioner Seem The Most Challenging But It Had To Deftones and their Song “Beauty School”. I Could Forese This a l’Oreal Collab. Maybe Even to Whole Seasonal Line If it’s Successful. Shampoo, Body Wash, Hair Serum and Conditioner. All The Scents and Could See Being Subject Like a Tea Tree, Rose, or Cherry Blossom Scent.
FINALLY, Honorable Mentions:
Rage Against The Machine Cruelty-Free Ethically-Sourced Goat Soap
Lush x Korn Spooko Bath Bomb
Psychostick “Obey The Beard” Oil.
I Hope Any Hygiene Product Makers Are Paying Attention to The Pitches We’ve Made Here.
Warm Regards,
The Nu Metal Agenda Nu Marketing Team
